The Social Networker

by Chris Miller at 10:19:38 AM on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
You sit at your desk with multiple screens, multiple devices and multiple desktops running.  Enjoying the gluttony as a victim of  Virtual Gratification Syndrome (VGS)?  This symptom is easily identifiable for once.  Look for the following symptoms in yourself or those around you:
  • The Google Feed Reader has a constant unread value greater than 2,000
  • The tabs in their browser of choice exceed 12 and span multiple windows
  • They use multiple browsers at once for alternate purposes and are not developers
  • The person jumps quickly between the computer, the Blackberry (or smartphone) and CNN
  • The person has multiple RSS widgets and tickers on their screen
  • The person is able to share over 100 articles per day
  • Instant messaging is a waste as they don't want to talk, only consume.  If you send a string of links they might keep the chat window open
  • Newspapers suck as they are a day old and you can't cross link from them
  • The radio never quite has on what they want, so podcasts it is all the time
  • They are pissed Jott is going to a paid service as they used it since day 1 and have grown attached
  • Twitter clients are too slow for them

External symptoms then begin to show as they are detached from their devices for any period of time
  • They talk aimlessly around 15 subjects that they "just read"
  • They seem to know every major event going on in the world
  • They also seem to know every minor event and technology event going on
  • They can recite where Leo Laporte was for lunch each day this week
  • At their own kids event they rarely know the score or have seen a performance
  • Driving causes them to twitch.  No, you just thought they were bad drivers.  Not true, they cant concentrate on a blank road
  • If they lose their device they don't know what day it is

Treatment varies, but going cold for at least a week seems to give them some sort of grounding effect.  Simply destroying their computer and Smartphone only allows them to use the insurance they purchased to quickly go and get an even newer and better device.

  • 1) Virtual Gratification Syndrome (VGS) - The Over Information Gatherer
    Created by francie at 01/27/2009 4:10:35 PM email | website

    Odd, as the above sounds just like someone I know.

    Darn, what was his name again..... ?

    (Hint: he wore out not one but three sign language interpreters during his LS session)

  • 2) Virtual Gratification Syndrome (VGS) - The Over Information Gatherer
    Created by igmuska at 01/27/2009 8:15:49 PM email |

    I can quit anytime I want. I just bookmarked this using one click, sending this to 4 bookmarking services, adding it to my discussion forum. Used trackback to watch for comments.

Discussion for this entry is now closed. Please email me instead

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Yes this is a blatant theft of the outline that Jess uses on her page, but I asked permission. Why?? Because I am a hardcore admin and can make ugly tables to make you developers frustrated, but this was too nice to pass up.

Also Known As: Chris Miller (when awake)

Boring Certifications: (only because someone asked twice)

  • Workplace Collaboration Services 2.5 - Team Collab and Messaging
  • Domino 7 Certified Security Administrator
  • PCLP ND7
  • PCLP ND6
  • PCLP R5
  • PCLP R4
  • CLP Collaboration (soon to be retired Aug 2006)
  • random former R4 exams
  • CLI for numerous admin areas including Domino, Sametime and Workplace
  • CLP Insane

Yes, I write some of those dreaded admin cert exams you take. I won't say which ones so you don't come looking for me, but I will say they are the real good recent ones that have been coming out.


  • At work an IBM 2 GHz
  • At home a plethera of 6 machines with various Windows versions and Red Hat on a wired/wireless LAN
  • A Toshiba E740 with 802.11b (yes geek toy)
  • An Apple 40GB iPod that is filled to the brim
  • Compaq RioPort MP3 player (now in storage)
  • An EBook (REB1100) also for travel (Love that darn thing)
  • Verizon and they always seem to know how to find me, damn cell


One dog, a Pug. He has been on this world before and seems to understand slippers and a fine cigar. Mind you that is him in the chair and not me.

Let us now also add a deranged cat that is in the process of being toilet trained. Update: Toilet traning was very very close.


Non-stop. At my desk, in my car, walking to work and back to my car downtown. In the house there is a crazy zoned set-up for you home automation geeks.

I am a self-proclaimed MP3 fiend, to which I have tried rehab 4 billion times to no avail. Next is the MP3 hard-drive for the car that I found. Now what kind of music you ask? I will never tell.


  • Incredibly fast English
  • Very slow Spanish
  • Emoticon-ese
  • Learning Korean
  • HTML
  • Advanced Sarcasm

Geek class special abilities:

  • Notes/Domino overdrive
  • Workplace
  • Sametime
  • Active Directory (huh? kidding)
  • Quickplace
  • LMS, LVC and the other L's of elearning
  • Windoze junk
  • MS Exchange versions
  • LAN
  • Server Iron
  • Yeah, yeah it goes on some


Get back to you here


Hershey’s Stomach of Holding: Jess and I are fighting over who eats more chocolate. TWDUFF can help me out and vouch for me.

Character Bio:

This will take far more time than I have today. I will start with I was born and still live in St. Louis, MO. Even though for a couple years I was never, ever here and always on the road, this is smack in the middle of the US. Everything is just a few hour flight. That part is nice. No beach/ocean/coast isn't the best. But with the travel I make up for it.

Don't Panic

Looking to find me in person? Here is where I will be.

delayedcustomer visitMinneapolis, MN
Mar 31 - Apr 4Lotus Notes and Domino 8 Upgrade SeminarCopenhagen, Denmark
Apr 30 - May 2Admin2008Boston, MA
May 10 - 15Lotus Notes and Domino 8 Upgrade SeminarLondon
Jun 4 - 6Irish Lotus User Group 2008Dublin, Ireland
Jun 16 - 19Lotus Notes and Domino 8 Upgrade SeminarSan Francisco, CA
Jun 21 - 29VacationSome island I am not telling you
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